What has God been teaching you this past year?
Sarah: God is teaching me that He is a very relentless Father. Lovingly relentless I should say. He has been teaching me that He will do anything in order to get my attention. It was almost two years ago I found out that I was, unexpectedly, pregnant. And that definitely got my attention; it was shocking and scary.
Then, almost a year ago, Ben came into my life. I was just blown away by love—the love that I felt for him. After that I realized a whole different dimension of how Jesus loves His kids, because I had no idea how much capacity I had to love Ben. I was amazed how much I loved him just because of who he is as my child.
If Jesus loves me like that, then I don't need to fear anything. I don’t need to be scared about single motherhood; I don’t need to feel condemned for the sin that I committed, because I wouldn’t think twice about forgiving my child. If that’s even a small reflection of what Jesus feels about me, then I don’t need to feel ashamed or like a second-class Christian.
Motherhood is hard, especially single motherhood: there’s a dimension of loneliness to it that’s really painful sometimes. Jesus has used that place of painful loneliness to keep me really dependent on Him. It’s very comforting to know that our Savior was content and satisfied in His heavenly Father. This is something I think of often to remind me that I am not lacking anything because I have a good and faithful God.
How have you seen God’s grace demonstrated to you in your experience of single motherhood?
Sarah: In a lot of ways. Primarily through my church family; I’ve always felt a lot of support and gracious love from my community group, the pastors I met with, and even in my own family. God has given grace to people to love me well. Also, experiencing the joy of having a young child. That’s a huge gift—I don’t deserve to have a sweet little baby boy, at all. Just having him, his presence in my life, is such an indescribable blessing. There’s nothing I could do to deserve that, and it’s a huge reminder of grace. Every time I walk into his room and he’s smiling in his crib, I’m reminded: this is the way Jesus loves you, He gives you this.