It's Not Much, But He Can Have What's Mine John 6:4-15 March 30, 2003, Year B, 4th Sunday in Lent The Rev. William V. Livingston, Rector Church of the Resurrection, Starkville, Mississippi Aaron, age ll, lives in a small village, Archelais, located on one of the streams feeding into the Jordan River, about 5 miles north of Jericho. In his village, excitement grows as people talk about a man named Jesus who would pass through on his way to Jerusalem. Word has spread about his healing powers - the blind seeing, the lame walking, the deaf hearing. People say he teaches with authority as no one ever has before. Some claim he is a prophet; others that he is the Messiah who will lead Israel against the Roman oppressors; others that he is a charlatan, just another magician who can trick you with the wave of a hand and blink of a eye; and others that he is a raving maniac, spouting off some type of gibberish. As Jesus passes through Archelais, a large crowd follows him, hanging on his every word. Some villagers join the crowd. Aaron asks his parents to let him go with his aunt and uncle who are among those following Jesus. His father scoffs, "Why do you want to follow this fool? He spouts off nonsense. What does he know? He's just a carpenter the same as I?" Aaron continues to plead. His mother calls him aside. "Go on, I'll deal with your father." She hands him a small package and tells him to place it in the pouch he wears around his waist. He looks and sees five small barley loaves and two fish, basically, five large crackers and two pieces of jerky made from fish rather than beef. He runs and catches up with the crowd. Most of the morning he struggles to keep up, not getting close enough to hear Jesus who teaches as he walks. A few hours later they pass through Jericho, and more people join the crowd. In mid-afternoon, Jesus stops walking. He goes two-thirds of the way up a hill and climbs on top of a large flat stone. The crowd gathers in a large circle around him. Aaron weaves in and out among the people until he is at the base of this large stone, looking directly up at Jesus, so close, he can see the pupils of Jesus' eyes which seem to look right into Aaron's inner being. Occasionally, as he teaches, he looks directly at Aaron and smiles, as one smiles at an old friend with whom one shares a common secret. While he teaches with authority and passionately, his voice is calm and gentle. Such things the lad has never heard before. As the day draws to an end, hunger pangs tighten in his stomach, but he does not want to be conspicuous and eat in front of all these others, nor does he want to move and miss a word Jesus may say. Jesus pauses for a moment, looks out over the crowd and turns to one of his closest followers named Philip. Because he is speaking more softly now, Aaron cannot hear all he says but realizes they are discussing feeding those gathered with them. Philip seems agitated. Aaron reaches into his pouch and pulls out the package his mother had given him. A woman next to him in a stern voice asks, "Child you aren't going to eat that without giving me some of it, are you?" Without responding, he approaches another of Jesus' intimate friends, Andrew, who is just a few feet away. He extends his small package. "Sir, it's not much, but if it will help, he can have what's mine." Andrew looks incredulously and scoffs, "Boy, there must be over 5,000 people here. What are we do to with this?" But, he still takes the package. Embarrassed, he returns to his spot. The woman who had asked him to share his food smacks him on the back of the head. "Fool, if you wanted to share, you could have given me some. Now, this man and his friends will eat it, and both you and I will go home starving." He watches as Andrew hands Jesus his package, who say, "It is enough," and places at his feet on the top of the stone. Jesus calls out, "Everyone please be seated." He looks up toward heaven and says, "Blessed are you, O Lord God, King of the Universe, for you give us food to sustain our lives and make our hearts glad." He then walks among the crowd handing out barley loaves and fish. "Who would like more? Have all you want. Our Father has dealt generously with us." Never has bread and fish tasted so good. The next morning, as Aaron makes the long journey home with his aunt and uncle, his stomach growls as the hours pass without eating. However, this discomfort seems insignificant as his mind ponders all that he had seen and heard the day before. The story of the feeding of the masses is the only miracle story found in all four Gospels. Obviously, I have taken some fictional liberties in expanding this story, but why have I focused more on the boy than Jesus or the miracle? Because Lent is about us. Lent is a time to focus on how we respond to the grace extended to us and how well we live our ministries we accepted at our baptism. Only John tells us that the five loaves and two fish came from a child. Perhaps such an offering could only come from a child. We as adults do not really know how to offer the gifts and talents we have to God. We generally have one of two attitudes regarding offering our gifts, talents, and resources to God: grandiosity or inferiority. We either take our five barley loaves and two fish and call out loud, "Look at these wonderful gourmet treats my mother made. She's a wonderful cook. I caught these giant fish myself. I bet you wish you had something as good as this." Or, we look at our meager morsels, and say to ourselves, "Nobody would want these. They're stale, dried up, and puny." Either way, we respond by refusing to give our loaves and fish. For the grandiose among us, we think, "I don't want to waste these gourmet delicacies on these useless dregs of the earth. They wouldn't appreciate what treasures they receive and besides, then I wouldn't have enough for myself. I'll give a small piece of this stale one to the one who looks most deserving. The rest are not my responsibility." For the inferior among us, we also refuse to give them for fear of offering inadequate gifts. The opportunities for ministry that God places before us may be large or small. They may be all inclusive, requiring us to change careers by entering a full-time ministry, or less inclusive: a call to service within the Church of the Resurrection by serving in a leadership role, a call to feed the hungry by offering food to the local pantry or assisting Helping Hands or Haven House, a call to visit an older person living alone, as simple as helping maintain the church grounds or increasing your financial gift to the church. As we move into the second half of this Lenten season, prayerfully assess where God places opportunities to use the gifts, talents and resources God has given you. God does not want you to do everything. If you are actively involved in a ministry or ministries, ask God to guide you as to whether this is where God continues to want you to minister or whether new ministries are being placed before you. Pray this especially if you already feel overextended. If God is placing a ministry before you and you are not answering, ask God to reveal to you if you are saying, "Look at these wonderful gourmet treats my mother made. I don't want to waste these delicacies." If you respond by saying you don't have any useful skill or ability, ask God to show you if you are saying, "Nobody would want these. They are stale, dried up, and puny." Do the same with what you financially return to God. Our adult grandiosities and inferiorities can so easily get in the way of our being able to perceive and accept the ministries God places before us. We need to hear and see them with the ears and eyes of a child. One child said, "Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word." Another child said, "Sir, it's not much, but if it will help, he can have what's mine." And Jesus said, "Unless you become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." The eucharistic blessing in the Roman Catholic liturgy has a beautiful and theologically significant line as the bread and wine are presented: "Gifts of your earth, shaped by human hands, which shall become for us the Body and Blood of our Lord Christ." What we offer is meager, just as the bread and wine we place on the altar are meager tokens of our lives, both our successes and failures, but once God blesses them, they become divine. So we are to offer our gifts, talents, and resources to God, meager tokens of our successes and failures, and once God blesses them they become God's means for miracles. We live in troubling times. The needs, the problems seem, at times, insurmountable. It's not much, but if it will help, he can have what's mine. Be open to being transformed. It is enough!