Week 5 - Good Questions

WEEK 5 - Good Questions: Getting to The Heart


Following up with someone during conversation is a skill. When done in love, it can help others see what they are believing, feeling or experiencing. We often are blind to the motives and feelings of our heart which is one of the many reasons God gave us community. The heart is deceitful (Jer 17:9) and difficult to understand, but other believers, empowered by the Holy Spirit, can gently and lovingly listen and ask questions to help draw out what is unseen. They can help reveal our heart motives so that, when needed,  we can take those motives to the Lord in prayer. As a result, there might be times we need to repent to God and ask him to change us. There might also be times when we need to ask God to heal us from past hurts.

What we don't want to do is give people answers, solve their "problem" or be their savior. We also don't want to condemn or diminish people's experiences. Our goal is to help build one another up in love, to point each other to Jesus and be witness to God’s work through the Holy Spirit.

To help, I've included some examples of open-ended questions. You might also recall us covering this topic in the Facilitating Discussion training you went through prior to leading. If you'd like, you can re-listen to that HERE or in the app under DG Leader Resources. Feel free to revisit that anytime.

  • What was the desire you had in that moment?

  • Why did you desire that?

  • Is God calling you to desire something different?

  • What would be different if you had the desires of the HS in that moment?

  • Why do you think you’re struggling with this?

  • What do you fear will happen if you…?

  • What do you believe or fear will happen?

  • What do you believe Jesus would want you to believe about this situation?

  • What came to your mind when this happened?

  • How are you feeling about_____?

  • Are you feeling _____ (angry, lonely, etc)? Where is that a real struggle? 

  • What are you afraid of right now?

  • Describe how you see God right now.  What do you think he is doing?

  • What questions do you wish you could ask ____ (the person they’re in conflict with)?

  • What questions do you wish you could ask God?

  • What part of the situation is getting to you the most? Why?


Below is a guideline for your time together this week:

  • Vision Cast - Vision casting does 3 things; shares purpose, develops culture and calls others to action. Please ensure you are doing this on a weekly basis so your group understands why they are gathering and the goals you desire of them. 

  • Key scripture(s) from the sermon; Genesis 3:1-13; Mark 8:14-21

  • Training (video) - Again, these videos will vary in length depending on the conversations and teaching. Our desire is to give your group examples of what it looks like to live these skills out in real life. These are unscripted conversations along with teaching from Pastor Joel. We want to help your group understand the benefits and value of growing in relationship with one another.

  • Apprenticeship - This week you will use notes from the previous four weeks to help shape and direct the questions you will ask of one another. The hope and expectation is that your group has been paying attention to each other as they have shared. Also note, these apprenticeship times should be done in groups of 6 or less. Gender-specific for co-ed groups. If you haven't done so yet, this would be a good week to put this into practice. Breaking into Subgroups is beneficial during a major series to ensure everyone has the ability to share and practice the skill. Also, just so you know, this is not something that we will do for every series.

  • Immersion - Again, spend 5 minutes or so briefly going through the questions. How has it been going? Are people participating? If not, why not? The skills we are learning and growing in are meant to be lived out. The experience in our gatherings is just one aspect of what it means to have holistic friendships.

    Serve opportunity: We are still needing help with providing and serving food for Jobs for Life on the night of November 7th. Please contact me if you would like more information.